Back from Helheim
by jaqueline-littlebird
Summary: AU. Loki committed suicide after learning of his heritage and was replaced by an impostor. Thor et al only realized that after The Avengers, when that impostor revealed herself and teleported away cackling madly or something like that. They then went to find the real Loki. He is more impressive than they thought.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Written for a prompt on Norsekink LJ which asked that Loki in the movies, at least after Thor's botched coronation, was not the real Loki but an impostor, who was found out after The Avengers.

Disclaimer: not mine, no money

Music: "Wooden Pints" by Korpiklaani

* * *

**Back from Helheim**

They finally found Loki in Utgard, a wild realm split into small kingdoms inhabited by local trolls and rock giants as well as outcasts and adventurers from many a different species. Thor and the Warriors Four had quested here often in the past, and from those times had some connections that allowed the party to seek food and shelter in well-protected dryads' groves, goblins' burrows, and on one noteworthy occasion even spend the night in a mountain giant's glove.

The smalltown Heimdall had pointed them to was a bustling marketplace, where the travellers wound their way between piles of fruit and vegetables, craftsmen advertising custom-made magic weapons and armour, sacks of seeds and fertilizer (ranging from unicorn droppings to dragon dung, as the selling Earth Giant advertised), and other merchandize.

Vendors with trays tried selling the newcomers sausages in buns, 'personality pies', or smorgasbord – 'the real one with real board' (in the flavours cedar, oak and pearwood, organic). From shaded booths, Troll women glistening with suntan lotion were offering horns of warm mead fresh from the goat, stout from the yak, or – brand new – whisky from the highland cow.

A pair of dwarven smiths offered a bag of vibranium coins for Tony's iron man suit. Some scantily clad Elven women advertised their services to Fandral and Steve, the latter of whom turned less red than expected (soldiers probably had their needs seen to even back in WW2), but Bruce put his foot down and shooed them off. In this realm of magic giants, everyone seemed to sense the Hulk in him, and they gave him room.

The party made their way to the largest building, which they took to be the chieftain's residence or town hall. Up close, though, a sign identified it as „The Greedy Goblin Gambling Hall". Two Frost Giants flanked the door – icy, towering, red eyes scanning the crowd. Thor gripped Mjölnir harder, and Sif extended her glaive.

„Whoa there, big guy, keep cool!" Tony Stark tried to control the situation. „Let Brucie handle the Blue Man Group, 'kay?"

But before their own green giant could interfere, one of the blue bouncers spoke up, smirking: „Here we meet again, little princess. Remember me?"

Volstagg, Steve and Hogun had to restrain Thor. Thunderclouds gathered above them, and lightning struck in nearby hills. Bruce assumed the lotos position, taking deep, calming breaths.

A crowd of spectators was quickly gathering.

„Two silver kronar that the fatty can't restrain the hammer-guy."

„Not gonna take that one."

„Five kronar they'll wreck the casino."

„Norns beware! My sister works there. Six öre Thrym can bend the tin man in a knot."

„Done."

„Aww, isn't the red-head pretty?"

„Too small for you, Skrymer. You couldn't put your ..."

„Gentlemen, ladies! Please disperse. There's nothing to see here, everything under control. Of course you are all welcome to place your bets and enjoy yourselves in the Greedy Goblin Gambling Hall."

The human man with dark receding hair looked small and vulnerable between the giants flanking him, but somehow emanated authority.

„Son of Coul!" Thor's rage evaporated as quickly as it had set in. The clouds above dissolved.

Even Hawkeye did a double take: Agent Coulson, alive and well, clad in dark green, with plate armour and vambraces adorned with curling vine motives, quite similar to Haldir's outfit in the Lord of the Rings movie; a sight to behold.

„Well met, friend! How come you are alive? I saw you run through right before my eyes. Loki – no, that foul creature in his shape ..."

„And a good day to you, prince Thor. Captain, Mr Stark, Dr Banner, agents, everyone. Here you are, finally; I'm touched. Give me a minute to hand over shift, and change."

* * *

A minute later, Coulson, now in casual Dökkalf wear – dark leather trousers and a jerkin – joined them and explained. Indeed he had been dead. Queen Hela of Niflheim had told him he had earned a place in Valhalla, but had asked him to postpone that and first meet her father, Loki. Loki, who, as it turned out, had committed suicide by melting his Frost Giant self in a volcano on Earth right after discovering his heritage.

The 'Loki' to take the throne had already been the impostor, that creature's later fall from the bifröst just its way of returning to its lord Thanos out of fear of being found out.

Talks with queen Hela had been quite the revelation for the agent. For one, she was a couple of billion years older than her father currently. As she explained, she'd been in existance ever since mortal life-forms that could die from old age had evolved. Her father, as god of chaos, needed to die and be reborn now and then. She'd lamented this too-short and shitty life of his. He had died young before, she'd said, sometimes in gruesome ways, but never been depressed like this.

The queen of the dead had then professed her trust that the mortal to whom Thor had sworn allegiance after barely meeting him would be able to help with her father's mental state. Coulson had agreed.

* * *

Talking on the way, they reached a kind of garden café, advertised by a large wrought-iron sign above the hedge as _'Hassan's Mittguardian Specialties Restoran'_ in English and runes. The place wasn't overly busy early in the afternoon, so the company got quickly seated. (Oriental style, on cushions around a tablecloth on the ground. No doubt so that the same furniture worked for guests of different sizes.)

Two waitresses inquired eagerly after frieds and family in New York, and badgered Tony and Steve for autographs, until the manager shooed them off. While Volstagg and the other Asgardians dug into their shawarma like starved gluttons, Phil made introductions.

Hassan complained animatedly about the hazards of running a restaurant on a foreign planet. There was no coffee in Utgard. No coffee! Tea neither, only herbal. How was he to attract customers in the afternoon if he couldn't serve coffee with his wife's homemade baklava? There were also no almonds to be had, no rice, no tomatoes, and no ketchup. They'd improvised burgers with sweet mustard (Root Gnome Brand), and those went reasonably well with the curious local populace, as did the lahmacun they sold as pizza, but they'd given up on fries. The realm had no potatoes either, and deep-fried parsnips with mayonnaise just could not compare.

More and more humans trickled in, all of them dressed in local garb, or what the Avengers took for it: from threadbare white gowns (hand-me-downs from Vanirian charity, Fandral suggested) through uniforms like Coulson had worn on the job, to shaggy fur loincloths for some of the guys (that probably some charitable Troll youth had grown out of).

Apparently, the word had spread that the Avengers were in town.


	2. Chapter 2

At length, Natasha steered the conversation to the baffling point: How were all these people alive? There were scores. Including officers and junior agents she had seen die in combat. Including Coulson.

„That is easily explained. Queen Hela revived them. Us, in fact. She did not want her father's name tarnished with the death toll from New York. Once all these people started coming in by the hundreds, stating they had been killed by Loki's army of aliens, when he had been sleeping in the trance of the realm of the dead all the while, we knew something on Earth was very wrong. It took us a while to figure out what was going on. I'm glad you did too, by now. Some of us here were getting really antsy to go back to their loved ones. Or at least back to their jobs and away from Die-in-Takeover-Battle Dibblarsson's labour leasing agency. Understandably. We all managed, of course."

„If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere!" Hassan piped in.

„Yes, but how ..."

„As I said, the Queen of Death decided so. An impressive lady, I must say. There is a gate between the realms nearby, so that's how we ended up here, grateful to take any job to get by for the time being. Mind you, the locals have been most helpful, considering they were confronted with so many of us all of a sudden."

„Got a business startup loan from Brok&Sindri Brothers Bank." Hassan happily interjected. „Already paying it off."

„But what of my brother?" Thor wondered, mouth full.

„I'm getting to that. As it is, we haven't been back that long. Most of the time since the New York battle I spent convincing Loki to return to life. I shall not go into detail. Suffice it to say that he was extremely disappointed with his adoptive family."

„Adoptive?" Volstagg asked, chewing, reaching for another helping of kibbeh.

„The Jotuns freshly slain in that skirmish on their home planet were the most helpful." Coulson continued, looking at Thor. „Over time, they convinced him there is nothing wrong with being blue-skinned. Don't look at me like that, Thor. Seargent Thrym in particular. That's your old friend from the casino door. He never knows when to shut up, but he's funny if you get to know him. We arranged some talks between Loki and his birth parents, and they reconciled."

„Birth parents?" Volstagg marvelled.

Coulson ignored him. „It wasn't easy. Their family history is very sad. Loki was born prematurely, when his mother had a breakdown after learning of her eldest's death in warfare. All physicians deployed elsewhere, she bled to death. The father, in his double grief, decided the baby had no chance to survive without his mother, and the enemy on their doorstep besides, and would be best off following her. To which Loki initially agreed. As I said, he was very depressed then. But with time, they got it through to him that they wanted him to live and be happy. More so, that they were proud of him. Skywalking and magic are cherished skills in Jotunheim. King Laufey apologized for his wrong decision of exposing Loki as a baby, and also for not realizing all those years that the only man in Asgard ever to be known for his travelling ability must be his lost child. Ah, by the way, Thor, please pass your father the late king Laufey's and queen Náls regards and heartfelt thanks for saving their youngest."

Disbelieving looks between the Warriors Four.

The agent continued: „It took a while, but Loki has forgiven his father, and made friends among the Jotuns. King Laufey decided to stay in Helheim with his late wife. There is a middle brother, Byleistr, who is king now. They suggested Loki should visit him; he promised to. Thrym told me the new king has long been interested in friendly relations with Earth and has already made contact with some countries in the Himalayas."

That was when Sif exploded. „He's Jotun? Thor, he's Jotun? Not your brother but a Frost Giant? I knew it! That snake was never one of your family!"

* * *

Luckily, the newly revived humans scattered quickly enough to avoid grave injury while the Hulk handled the internal Asgardian squabble. Afterwards, Hogun – sporting one black eye – grimly paid the damage caused (which included the kitchen and three decorative linden trees).

„No quest without a tavern brawl." The new voice sounded of long suffering, exaggerated and theatrical.

Everyone turned. A very small Frost Giant in a black-green kilt picked his way through the remnants of the hedgerow, long black hair plaited in many thin braids, red eyes scanning the crowd.

„Run of the mill for the past five centuries or so. Think nothing of it. They'll go back to Asgard soon to feast and tell heroic tales, as always."

Thor stood wide-eyed, mouth slack. Mjölnir slipped from his grip and fell on Sif's chest where she lay. She made a muffled noise.

Coulson stood, too, smiling. „Welcome back, Loki, right on time. Good to see you. Finally, they are here."

„So I see."

„How did your quest go?"

„As planned." From a pocket of space, he drew a small container, then enlarged it for all to see. It was a glass cage. Inside it swirled an amoeba-like creature, moving, twisting, glistening in changing colours like an oil patch on water.

„This is the impostor. I'm not sure what to do with her yet. She did horrible things of course, but it wasn't _her_ grand plan, it was Thanos'. Who was only too ready to hand her over when I threatened to preserve his head like Mimir's; I imagine she won't work for him again if she can help it. Well, we'll sort that out in due time, consulting your law courts on Midgard and on Jotunheim of course." He vanished the cage again. With a flick of the wrist and a flash of green magic, he restored the restaurant.

„Brother?" Thor stammered at long last. Volstagg choked.

„If you so choose, Thor. In any case, the real Loki this time."

Thor closed his mouth.

„Her kind can't perform as Frost Giants. Our bodies are too cold for their plasma to imitate. So in this, my natural state, I am beyond doubt myself."

„Ahahaaa, another trick!" Fandral guffawed. „But that way you will never find a lady friend."

„Small for a giant, ain't he?" Volstagg mumbled.

„Change back to normal, brother, you've had you grand entrance."


	3. Chapter 3

At that point Coulson intervened. „Friends! Please. We have some pressing matters to attend. Now that Loki is back, and you from Asgard here to vouch for him that he did not committ wars of aggression, most of us simply want to go home. Humans to New York, Jotuns to Jotunheim, yes?"

Things turned out a little more complicated. Some humans were from Stuttgart, others from Puente Antiguo.

Hassan and his family decided to remain in Utgard. („Got mugged thrice in New York, and my shop there broken into. What the rent and taxes won't eat up goes to insurance. Nonono, I'm making a fresh start here.")

There were other cases: One former real estate agend who wagered there'd soon be a permanent connection to Midgard, and he the first to sell Utgardian property to Earthlings.

A NYPD officer of Irish descent who on Earth had just filed for bankruptcy, facing his familiy's eviction from their tiny condo, who'd met distant relatives from Alfheim and would take a job there to send money home.

Some people who had been cured of cancer by alien magic but feared a return of it; a homeless drug addict who never wanted to go back to that old life; Utgard's new first canine stylist (apparently some people here kept direwolves); a student of anthropology. Some had chosen to remain dead in the first place. The Jötnar were just as diverse.

Eventually, everyone was transported where they belonged.

* * *

The Avengers and Warriors Four sat in Stark's living room. The billionnaire philantropist had just talked Loki out of repairing all property damage. All those construction workers needed their wages after all. He'd help out where needed financially, and was overjoyed when Loki handed him some vibranium ingots for the trouble.

„What of Thanos, Loki?" Steve asked at long last. Spandex really paid attention to detail, Tony would give him that. „This person who you said was all behind it?"

„Ah, yes." The chaos god – still blue and naked save for that kilt – smiled placidly. „You need not worry for your planet, I don't think. He and I, we had a talk, and layed down some rules."

„Some do battle, some just silvertongue." crowed Volstagg, Hogun and Sif sharing a chuckle, while Thor had his face in his hands.

With a flick of the wrist, Loki conjured a dagger which he balanced on its point, on the tip of his index finger. „I can be convincing when there's no compelling reason to let the other live."

The dagger flew an impossible curve, cutting Volstagg's beard off. Then it vanished.

Loki didn't even look. „Well, I tried to explain to the Titan that killing people is not a reasonable gift to my daughter, when their souls are due to go to her realm anyway come time. He agreed to bear that in mind. You should be safe from him for the time being."

„Can't have been that difficult if Loki managed." Fandral whispered to Sif.

Thor stood. „Loki, stop this charade! It's time to return to your proper place and form. Father awaits you. Change now and return us here to Asgard!"

Steve rose. So did Bruce.

Loki exchanged a long glance with Coulson. „I shall do so, brother, I shall, with time. Maybe a few centuries hence, I will go meet him. The Allfather who saved my life, but made it a misery. Not taking away from this fine company, of course." He smirked. „As it is, I'll rather be my own man for a while. There are worlds to explore, chaos to create. Realms I have not yet seen, there for me to visit. Powers I only just realized I have, to test and expand. I wish you a lot of fun finding out how Asgard fares without me." He bowed and vanished.

Thor looked at Coulson, astonished. „You, son of Coul! What have you talked my brother into, that he won't return to his rightful place?"

„The coward couldn't look Odin in the eye." whispered Sif.

„A Frost Giant in Asgard, think of that." Hogun replied.

Before Steve – looking really angry now – could launch into a lecture about bullying someone into suicide, Phil stated plainly: „I believe I saved the universe."

„What?"

„Queen Hela explained to me that if her father ever would be fed up with this universe, he might destroy it and create a new one. It is a chaos thing somehow. Fresh starts, new paths. Maybe antimatter next time, or silicon-based lifeforms … She said it wouldn't be the first time."

At this, the Asgardians all blanched.

„You are saying – he is the Ragnarök-bringer? Loki, my little brother?"

„We must go and tell the Allfather." Fandral said.

„Yes." Thor was still stunned.

„How do we get there, without Loki to take us? Heimdall said the provisional bridge would need weeks to regenerate between ports." Hogun, as always, had paid attention.

„You could take the roundabout way through Jotunheim, with king Byleistr's permission." Coulson pointed out. „They seem to have several sky-travellers there and wish to establish relations with Earth. I discussed this earlier with Thrym. He said for very polite, contrite Aesir, something could be arranged."

The warriors shared sheepish looks. It was decided that Thor would spend some time with lady Jane, while Tony Stark would house his friends until Heimdall could contact them again. Volstagg soon professed his desire to try 'this famed delicacy called pizza', then launched into a tale of bilgesnipe hunting. Dummy served warm beercans.

Coulson, Rogers and Dr Banner took their leave, the captain in a subdued mood. „Tell me, agent Coulson, ..."

„Phil."

„Phil. What you said about Loki – the end of the universe, and creation. Do you believe that is true?"

Coulson smiled his thin smile. „That may have been a strategic lie."

Steve smiled, relieved.

„But then, maybe not."


End file.
